- How far ahead can you see?

I can see as far as that rock and beyond.

I mean how far into your future can you see?

I can see as far as finishing the school and a little beyond that. How far can you see?

Not as far as the next breath.

Why?

I don’t know. When I was young, I saw far into the future, it was bright, it was big, and it called me.

And now?

As I got older, I started looking less. I started looking right under my feet and where I place the next step became the most important lesson, I have ever learnt…

And what about the future?

It is big, it beckons me, and I cannot see how to get to it.

Well, then there is no difference with what I am going through.

Sure. Sure. But do you see your future, son?

Yes, I do. Just like you dad.

No, I don’t see my future.

How then you know that it is big, and it calls to you.

Because I know God.

I don’t understand this dad. Everything comes down to this one word ‘God’. You explain every life’s issue, every big question with this one word ‘God’, but it says nothing to me! You see dad! You say ‘God’ like this supposed to answer something, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

I know.

You know?

Yes. I know. I know it means nothing to you. I know it is like a stumbling block, I know that every time you and I have an honest conversation like this, and I am off my high horse, you feel like we are getting somewhere, until I say ‘God’.

So. If you know this, if you know exactly what I think, why not bypass’ God’? Why not once give some other kind of answer?

Because I cannot ‘bypass’ God, son. Because you and I are having an honest conversation and even though you do not understand me, and you get angry with me, and God is like a gulf between us, nevertheless He is there, and He is the answer to so many of my questions.

So, when you say ‘God’ you are not trying to brainwash me, dad?

No. I am trying to be as honest and as vulnerable with you as I possibly can. Think about it: what man, what father would admit to his son that he is not strong on his own, smart on his own, solid and firm on his own? What father would say “I don’t have the answer to your question, go ask this other guy”.

I always feel like mom is trying to brainwash me though.

Your mom is desperate. She has seen some hard days, and she remembers how she got through them. And she knows you will see some hard days and she does not want you to be alone.

I am not alone, dad.

That’s true.

Are you thinking ‘because of God’?

Yes.

I wish you and I could talk like normal people.

What do normal people talk like?

They understand each other, dad, they agree, they don’t answer mysteriously, but instead they try to explain their position to each other, reach some sort of agreement. You never do it, dad. You are always set in self-righteousness. You do not need to explain anything to me. That’s why you never stoop to it.

No, son, no. It is not that I don’t need to explain anything to you. I can’t. I am incapable. And always will be. But I can love you, how about that?

That’s good, I guess.

Good. Let’s get inside, dinner must be ready.